The deeper you dive, the higher you’ll fly. The closer you get, the further you’ll pull away. The weaker you are, the stronger you’ll become. -Najwa Zebian
When we come to yoga class and start to settle in, we bring our foreheads to the mat in child’s pose, often massaging our third eye center and rolling out our shoulders. We begin to think about the mantra, I breathe in, I breathe out. We are asked by our yoga instructors to let go of whatever we are bringing to our mats that day: to let go, exhale to release and inhale to take in, move on.
Why is something as simple as letting go so hard? Why do we struggle to simply let go of what keeps us from being in the present?
In Western culture, we don’t value letting go and prioritize the fight to hold on, to keep on going. We struggle to loosen our grip on our thoughts and feelings, and our phones and our coffee: I must have a cup of coffee this morning, or I need to have my phone by my side. We are in a constant bustling, busy state of mind, which is why we can easily forget simple, organic needs such as nourishment and hydration during a hectic day, and still hold on to so many things, like technology, a bad conversation with a loved one, or 37 other tasks that we left at home to complete after our long day in the office. The concept of focusing on the present, free from the bustling, busy state of mind, is barely valued let alone understood in our culture. What we don’t understand, we don’t value. We have yet to prioritize the practice of letting go, and letting things be.
We all want to be heroes of our own stories. We all want to say I can, I will, yes. We begin to pack and pile up our do-good-deeds sacks with obligations and responsibilities. Then, we wobble with stress and anxiety and teeter on the edge of what we consider sink or float. Time is conceptualized as linear and our presence in it becomes foggy as we try and carry our do-good-deeds sacks across the trajectory of life. As we accomplish tasks and responsibilities, the weight lightens, but we don’t stop there. We keep taking on new things until we begin to carry burden and despair. We’re then told to let go!? We’re so close to the end of holding on. How can we simply let go when we’ve said yes, I can, I will? We begin to sink as we continue to swim, carrying our do-good-deeds sacks with burden and despair.
When things become heavy, we have to recognize that we can set them aside and take a break. We can shake out and away from our burdens and our despair, if only for a short while, and re-set after replenishing our minds, bodies, and souls with a bit of self-care. When we put things down or let them float away, we bring balance back into play. The weight shifts from heavy to light. We can swim along with a bit more ease as we learn to rest and to drop the things that weigh us down.
When we feel ourselves wobble and fall out of balance, we forget about self-care. To learn to care for yourself first is to learn to care for others more. As Westerners, the idea of caring for one’s self is seen negatively. We often think that if we’re caring for ourselves, then we’re abandoning the role of caring for others. This, in fact, is what yoga teaches us is wrong. The journey to loving others begins with learning to love yourself. This is often forgotten because we frequently put others before ourselves. When we continue to forget ourselves in situations, we also begin to look outwards and become fixated on thoughts and emotions that are impermanent. The human condition is to hold on. We want to hold onto things like impermanent thoughts and feelings in our lives so much at times that we forget to hold onto ourselves. The balance is out of play again as we scramble to grab the dock as the boat drifts away, our very foundation appearing distant as we leave port, drifting along with our barter. This is the challenge in learning to let go; to remind ourselves that holding on can pull us farther from ourselves. Self-care helps us alleviate negative thoughts and feelings by reminding us that maybe he or she wasn’t what we needed; what we were feeling was our own self-neglect. It is only when we re-connect with ourselves again that we can begin to reach outwards in thought, action, and emotion; we can begin to care and love others wholeheartedly.
Letting go is simple yet difficult. We hold onto things so tightly at times that we can forget to hold on to the earth in times of panic. We leave behind the very things that keep us grounded, that keep us balanced on two feet. The tighter we hold onto the things, the harder we fall. The harder we fall, the cleaner the break. Yoga teaches us that self-care is the sum of a billion tiny efforts of letting go of what doesn’t serve us. When we reflect inwards, we begin to let go, piece by piece. As we journey on, it becomes easier to loosen our grip, and let go a little more.
When we learn to let go completely, we also learn to self-heal and become grounded again.
When we end class in child’s pose and re-set, we bring our foreheads to the mat in the fetal position, often massaging our third eye center and rolling out our shoulders as we reflect on the mantra, I breathe in, I breathe out. We are reminded that this feeling we create in the practice of yoga is available to us at any time, and if we choose to let go and journey inwards, we can obtain this grounded peace of mind to lighten our steps in yoga and in life.
Strength is found in the freedom to let go. Once you know the freedom in letting go, you might learn to hold on to things less. The strength from freedom creates unimaginable space to build yourself up.
